she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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