We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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