Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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