I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
