So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
