3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
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The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
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You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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