I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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