do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
