i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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