I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
