so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
if only i could text you this smell
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
