it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
