i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
