Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
