Plan B is the new Plan A
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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