shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
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I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
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I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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