But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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