The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
