I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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