Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
