i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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