I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches