Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Intervention is following me on twitter.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine