I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it