when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
