My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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