Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
