His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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