Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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