Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
