i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
