Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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