he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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