you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize