it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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