Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
