My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
