i jhust puked up my retainher.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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