I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
