yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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