OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?