so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...