I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
love makes seman taste better
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.