i think my tv is drunk
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption