My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
its liver damage thursday
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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