omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.