I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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