Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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