This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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