dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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