...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
