I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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