my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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