she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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