I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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