I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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