Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Mom said you looked used
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
My ass is underappreciated
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
