You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
