I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
