Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
