You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
