omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
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