Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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