do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
