I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
