Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
