my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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