Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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