That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
