I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
