so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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